I see you have another training class for coaches running.  Why shouldn’t I just sign up for that instead of hiring a coach for my son?

Sincerely,  Sandy L.

Dear Sandy,

We’ve heard that some parents believe that they should sign up for ADHD coach training instead of hiring an ADHD coach because it’s so much less expensive.  We of course disagree.

Yes, understanding how coaching works can be helpful to you, but it doesn’t replace the value of getting coaching in real life for your student.  Why?

• High school and college students do not want to hear anything from their parents about anything – it’s their job to break away and be independent
• The student, not the parent, sets the ADHD coaching agenda – it can be difficult to detach from your personal agenda as a parent and critical for your student to be empowered to direct her own life path.
• Just because you’ve taken the class doesn’t mean you have the experience our coaches bring to the table.  Sure you know your child, but we know dozens – and that gives us perspective on many different approaches that work, or don’t work, for different people.
• Edge coaches have received previous life coaching training and have at least two years of experience.  ADHD coaching is an advanced coaching skill that takes practice.  That’s why our coaches receive mentoring after they complete the class.  They also have access to the expertise and wisdom of the Edge coaching bench – when they find a problem they haven’t encountered for, they can bounce ideas and strategies off the team for input.

If you want to learn more about the coaching process, Edge Foundation coach trainer, Jodi Sleeper-Triplet has a great book at the printers on the topic that you can preorder here:   Empowering Youth with ADHD: Your Guide to Coaching Adolescents and Young Adults for Coaches, Parents, and Professionals

What’s your opinion, do you think the outside perspective of a coach can accomplish more than a parent’s influence?  Sound off in the comments, or join the conversation on Facebook.

I know that my son would really benefit from a coach. (He certainly doesn’t want to hear me carping at him anymore!) Yet when I bring up the subject, he completely shuts down. How can I get him to agree to working with a coach?

Sincerely,  Denise W.

Dear Denise,

As you are well aware, parenting teens and young adults is a tough balancing act between providing support and letting your child succeed (or fail) on their own. We strongly encourage the student to be involved with all conversations with our coaches from the beginning. The more you, as parent, speak with the coach without the student involved, the less your child will want to talk to the coach. That’s why most coaches require that parents and their kids meet together with the coach during the first conference call so the student doesn’t feel railroaded into the idea of coaching.

It’s also helpful for the student (and you) to understand what an ADHD coach does. Often students think an ADHD coach is just one more person that will nag them about school, their room, etc. This is far from the case. A coach address whatever the student (not you) thinks is important. This could mean making friends or getting on a sports team are priorities for your son, where your priority is getting his grade up. In this example, we’d be working on helping him with his priorities: friends and sports. And, of course, as a student builds trust with his coach, other life issues – like grades – will inevitably come up and be addressed.

And, of course, everything that a coach talks about with your child will be confidential. It can be hard to let go as a parent, but it can really help your son relax about getting coaching to know that he sets the agenda and sessions are private.

Of course, there are always kids that just don’t want any help. In those situations you will need to determine what influence you have over your child’s behavior. Are they still living at home? Are you paying for their education? If you believe coaching is the best course of action for your child, you can set a clear expectation that he needs to participate. AND outline clear consequences if he doesn’t. Dr. Phil may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but his article on Parenting with Purpose may give you a good starting place for thinking about setting expectations for your child.

You can always set up a no-obligation introductory conversation between Edge and your son. Just fill out the contact form using the link below and we’ll get right back to you. Good luck!

Yes! Send me more information about working with an Edge ADHD coach!

Do you have a question for the Edge coach? Leave it in the comments or send it in an email to info@edgefoundation.org.

Signed,  Forgetful

Dear Forgetful,
Memory problems and ADHD often go hand-in-hand. So please know you aren’t alone in your forgetfulness. There are, of course, lots of different things that you can do to cope with this type of challenge: writing notes on sticky pads or leaving yourself a message on your cell phone are two options. They key is to experiment with different reminder methods to figure out which works for you and why. For some people jotting down downs of notes solves the problem. But for people who are not visuallearners, that is learning primarily using their sense of sight, it doesn’t work so well. A person with an auditory learning style may need to hear the reminder (thus the phone message suggestion). And the string tied around your finger was a memory tool custom made for kinesthetic learners.

A skilled coach can help you learn about yourself, help you understand your strengths, and work with you to develop coping skills to compensate for your weaknesses. Edge coaches will not just recommend coping mechanisms but help you understand why some will work for you and why others may not. They will help you tap into your unique talents and help you to sharpen your edge.

ADHD and Learning Styles

For more information about how to use your learning style to your advantage when getting organized, check out:
http://www.edgefoundation.org/blog/2009/12/21/getting-organized-learning-what-works/

If you’d like to discover more about your learning style, you can take a quick assessment here:

http://www.engr.ncsu.edu/learningstyles/ilsweb.html

Another quick assesment can be found here: 

http://www.agelesslearner.com/assess/learningstyle.html

For an interesting list of learning tools targeted towards each learning style (warning, this could be a time waster; there’s so much to click on!):

http://www.collegeathome.com/blog/2008/06/10/100-helpful-web-tools-for-every-kind-of-learner/

Do you have a question to ask our ADHD Coach? Please leave it in the comments.

504 Plan

A plan setting forth services and/or Special Accommodations for a child with a disability, pursuant to Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of Counterpart of an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)

A Federal anti-discrimination Statute that can be used to protect students with disabilities from discrimination in pursuit of a major life activity (ie Education). The Act prohibits disability based discrimination by agencies receiving Federal funding.

Assistive Technology

An external device or functionality that seeks to remediate a learning disability, or other disorder, or to provide equal access to educational services to children with disabilities.

Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD, ADHD and ADD)

This general term encompasses Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), hyperactive, inattentive or combined types.

Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP)

A plan of positive behavioral interventions, made a part of the IEP of a child whose behaviors interfere with that child’s learning or their peers.

Code of Federal Regulations (CFR)

Set of administrative regulations established by the United States Department of Education to interpret IDEA.

Committee for Special Education (CSE)

Sometimes referred to as the special education team, that is required by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) to provide an Individualized Education Program (IEP) to address the needs of children from Kindergarten through High School Graduation, or the age of 21, who qualify for Special Education Services pursuant to the statute.

Committee for Preschool Special Education CPSE

Similar in operation to the Committee for Special Education, but deals with children from two years of age up to Kindergarten.

Co-Morbid Disorder

A disorder, or Specific Learning Disability (SLA) that is present along with another functional disability.

DSM IV

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fourth Addition) published by the American Psychiatric Association. It is the main diagnostic reference for mental health professionals in the United States.

Due Process Hearing (Impartial Due Process Hearing)

An impartial hearing which commences upon a formal request by either parents or LEA. The hearing is conducted before an Independent Hearing Officer (IHO) or Administrative Law Judge (ALJ) who takes testimony under oath and presides. The hearing is stenographically recorded and a written decision is required to resolve the dispute between the parties. Either party can appeal the decision of an IHO to a State Review Officer (SRO).

Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA)

Federal Statute that ensures both the right to privacy and access of a student’s educational records. It is important to note that the protection of this law for children under 18 belongs to the parent and/or legal guardian, while that protection switches to the child at age 18, subject to a few limited exceptions schools and parents must obtain written consent of the student to share educational information.

Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE)

See IDEA

Independent Hearing Officer (IHO)

An officer appointed by a State Department of Education to hear disputes between parents and school districts at a Due Process Hearing. Depending upon the testimonial record, an IHO has the authority to subpoena documents, and/or order either side to comply with his or her directive.

Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)

An Educational Statute enacted by the Federal Government and codified under 20 USC 1400. IDEA governs children up to the age of 21 or up to achieving their high school diploma. The statute, now referred to as the Individuals with Disabilities Education Improvement Act, ensures that children with qualifying disabilities receive a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE).

Individual Education Program (IEP)

An education program required by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Improvement Act, to be designed to meet the specific needs of a disabled child who qualifies for Special Education. The IEP must contain annual goals and be reviewed on an annual basis.

Learning Disability (LD) or Specific Learning Disability (SLD)

A disability category under IDEA which includes disorder s that affect the ability to understand and/or use spoken or written language, or which may be manifested by difficulties with listening, thinking, speaking, reading, writing, spelling and/or performing mathematical calculations. LD or SLD also includes minimal brain Dysfunction (AD/HD), dyslexia, dysgraphia developmental aphasia and other disorders.

Least Restrictive Environment (LRO)

A requirement under IDEA, that special education and/or related services be provided in, or as close to a main stream environment as is possible or practicable under the circumstances.

Local Educational Agency (LEA)

The local school district responsible for providing services to a student or group of students.

Mediation

A procedural safeguard under IDEA to resolve disputes between parents and LEA’s. Mediation is a voluntary alternative to a to a due process hearing and may not be used to deny or delay a due process hearing. The medication must be conducted by a qualified and impartial mediator who is trained in effective mediation techniques. The decision of the mediator is non-binding and a disagreement between the parties can still be the basis for a due process hearing.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

is classified, in DSM IV as an anxiety disorder characterized by distressing intrusive thoughts and/or repetitive actions that interfere with the individual’s daily functioning.

Occupational Therapy (OT)

is a related service used to remediate deficits or developmental problems with sensory integration and fine motor skills.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

refers to a recurrent pattern of negative, defiant, disobedient and hostile behavior toward authority figures lasting aat least six months.

Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (504)

A Civil rights statute prohibiting recipients of Federal funding from discrimination on the basis of a disability.
Special Education PTA (SEPTA) – Branch of the local Parent Teacher Association specializing in issues concerning children with special needs.

State Review Officer (SRO)

An officer appointed by the State to review the decision, on appeal, of an Independent Hearing Officer (IHO) after a Due Process Hearing.

Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)

is a disability category under IDEA which includes acquired injury caused by external physical force and open or closed head injuries that result in impairments. It does not include congenital or degenerative brain injuries or injuries caused by birth trauma.

Dear Coach,
Why should I hire a coach when everyone says I need a tutor?

Signed,
Ready For Help

Dear Ready,
Candace Taylor, Edge Coach responds: Hmmm. Truthfully, perhaps not the right question to ask? I’d suggest that you don’t look at it as an either/or proposition. It is not unusual for a student to have both a coach and a tutor – just like you might also have a personal trainer or therapist.

Coaches aren’t competing with other professionals for a spot on your support team, we’re collaborating with them. Whether or not a coach is the best investment depends entirely on the you and what you’re seeking to accomplish.
There are times when a tutor may be a better, and often cheaper choice. There are times when both are a good idea. If finances dictate that there is only room for one professional, then the one that can address the student’s greatest needs should get the job.

Sometimes you bring on people to help you sequentially. For example, a student who is hitting the wall for the first time in college and suspects they have ADHD should start with a medical practitioner for a diagnosis and treatment plan. When things have settled down a bit they might add in an academic counselor to look into academic accommodations and allowed modifications. A tutor can then be added to learn how to write a proper lab report or tackle tricky Calculus problems.   Next comes a coach to put it all together:

• how to schedule your study time in a way that allows those tutored assignments to actually land on the prof’s desk on time,

• how to set up a reminder system that works for you to get to the appointments for the rest of the support team professionals,

• how to self advocate effectively for accommodations that some of your teachers may be reluctant to grant,

• even how to get the most out of time spent with your other helping professionals who may not “get” ADHD.

Robert Tudisco: I’d add that in my legal practice, I see far too many students who are struggling with ADHD get “treated” by hiring a tutor. It is also my experience that the majority of these students are extremely bright. Many of them do not need tutors in specific subjects, instead they need help learning the executive skills needed to translate their outstanding intelligence into outstanding grades. For example:

• Remembering which notebook to bring home
• Developing study skills and habits that take into consideration how they process information
• Empowering themselves to work toward their strengths and navigate around their weaknesses.

These skills reach across all subjects and are not the specialty of an academic tutor. The skill set of an Edge Coach is highly specialized in all of these administrative deficits which span all subjects.

To learn more about how an ADHD coach can help you succeed in college, check out our free ADHD & College whitepaper.

We’d love to hear from you.  Do you agree that tutors don’t provide ADHD students with executive skills training?   Do you have more than one helping professional? What has worked for you?  Please comment below!

My son is in 9th grade and is struggling to keep up with his new high school responsibilities. Is he too young for a coach?
Signed,  Worried

Dear Worried,

Many students with ADHD who have done fine in school, may hit a wall when they take a step up to a higher level of responsibility – like high school. So while you and your son may be worried about whether or not he can hack it, don’t worry, we DO have coaches for students in 9th grade. While most of our coaches work using emails and the phone, it may be better for a someone younger, like your son, to receive in-person coaching. Let us know your location and we will do our best to match your son with a coach that can work with him in person or using a face-to-face internet tool such as Skype. Here’s the link to sign up to find out more. Good luck! And let us know how it goes.

Do you have a question for the coach? Send it to coach@edgefoundation.org. We’ve love to hear from you.

And be sure to check out these other ADHD Coach questions:

What is an ADHD Coach?

Why am I always late?

What should I do about spring fever when I need to buckle down and study?

How do I know I need an ADHD Coach?

1. Make a budget
2. Make a list
3. Prioritize
4. Keep it in cash
5. Avoid the mall

This year we thought it would be helpful to provide a simple tool you can use to help you keep track of your spending.  This is a low-tech, print-it-out-and-keep-it-close-at-hand is a  simple budget tracking thermometer.  Go ahead, open up the file and print it out.  Then we’ll talk about how it works.  Ready?

The pdf includes an old fashion thermometer that you color in as you spend your money.  A budget worksheet so you can plan how much to spend.  And a sample that shows you how quickly you can spend $600 if you don’t think carefully about what you are buying.  Start by writing down who you want to buy stuff for and what you’ve already spent on items.  Then add up how much it all will cost.  Divide your thermometer into even segments.  Start coloring it in.  When you reach the top, STOP SPENDING!

Did you have any idea how quickly you could blow through $300 without spending very much money per person?  Let us know if using this old-school tool gives you a new view on budgeting and keeping your spending under control.

Included in the whitepaper are 60 practical solutions for typical ADHD challenges. Highlights include:

• Using creative ways, like music, to keep yourself on schedule
• Working with your urge to procrastinate, not against it
• How to study smarter, not harder
• How to use fidgeting to stay focused
• 4 student qualities for success

Everything you need to know about ADHD, college, and living your dreams. Download your FREE copy at the bottom of this link today!

Fail it Forward

Is it possible people who have not failed are people who have never gone too far…never gone far enough? What side of the coin do you fall on? The “I have failed side” or the “I played it safe side.”

How can we ever know how far we can go unless we are willing to fail? Playing it safe requires us to live inside the boundaries of our limitations. A diagnosis of ADHD can mean a limitation of too few neurotransmitters (the thingies that help us focus and concentrate). This doesn’t mean we have to live inside this limitation. We can manage this in several ways; education, coaching, medication, exercise, diet and therapy just to name a handful.

You know the game we all play sometime; “What would you do if money were not a concern.” I ask my coaching clients “What would you do if you knew you would not fail.” When we strip away the “yeah, buts,” “if onlys,” “shoulds,” “I can’ts” and my favorite “I tried that and it didn’t work” what do we have left?

I can. I will. I am.

It takes great strength and courage (an “I told you so” occasion for the nay-sayers in your life, real and imaginary) to consider the possibility of failing. To know in your heart you might fail and then decide to take the plunge and do it anyway. Anis Nin said, “Life Shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” What will it take for you to feel courageous?

A life of unmet potential is easier and less painful.

Those of us with ADHD have had our fair share of bumps in the road. Sometimes we settle for a life of unmet potential because it is just plain easier and less painful. Henry David Thoreau’s famous quote, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” describes it well. Thoreau sought to learn to live deliberately and without resignation. He did not want to discover that he had not lived. Bob, my husband, has quoted this passage many times to me over the years. It has become his mantra, a reminder, as he learned to move through his daily challenge with ADHD. Like many adults diagnosed late it life Bob has had his fair share of bumps.

Many of us have learned to rely on the strategy of defensive pessimism. This strategy anticipates a negative outcome and then we take steps to avoid that outcome. Not necessarily a bad strategy, but certainly a limiting one. Yes, we must learn from our past mistakes. The learning and wisdom we gain from those mistakes guides our future…fail it forward, get it? As we side-step our way to the comfortable use of the word failure we can live firmly in the present. Fail, learn, grow, and succeed.

Want to think on this topic some more? You might also be interested in http://www.edgefoundation.org/blog/2009/07/14/adhd-is-it-a-good-or-bad-thing/.

How do you view failure in your life?  Do you agree that you can’t learn if you don’t fail?

Dear Wondering,

The simplest answer is that an Edge Coach is a coach who works for the Edge Foundation. But that doesn’t tell you much, does it? More specifically, we ensure all of our coaches meet strict standards of life coach training and experience before they even take our specialized training to work with ADD/ADHD youth. In addition, all our coaches participate in mentoring by senior coaches as they settle into working with Edge Foundation clients.

We are proud  we have some of the best known and most experienced coaches in the business.  All of our coaches bring amazing life experience to their coaching and have a passion for working with young people who might have ADD/ADHD. Many of them have ADHD themselves, or love someone who does, or both,  so they really get it.

We take the guess work out of finding a good coach (because we ensure that all of our coaches are good), and we help you find one you really click with.

Do you have a question for the coach?  Send it to info@edgefoundation.org.  We’ve love to hear from you.