Edge Foundation Blog

Last week, Neil Peterson talked about how college students with ADHD often lag behind their peers in social and emotional maturity and aren’t as ready as their peers to learn the self-advocacy skills college demands.   Neil proposed “gap year” between high school and college to give students a chance to catch up and learn valuable skills in the process.  Other parents may choose to send their student to community college or a local university so their son or daughter can continue to receive the support of home while continuing their education.  But what happens when your child has grown up and doesn’t appear ready to leave the nest?

We hope you’ll laugh when you hear you missed celebrating “Crowded Nest Awareness Day” last June.  If your adult child is still living at home, you know that no awareness day is going to get them to leave the nest.  And if you are allowing your child to live at home while attending college, you’ve probably harbor a deep-seeded fear in the back of your mind that your child will never make it on their own.  Instead of worrying, why not take some steps now to help your child reach the end of their college degree and their home stand!

Charge room or board: If your child was living away at college your family would need to factor in room and board in the costs.  Many families expect their students to contribute to their food or housing costs and by taking full-time summer job or a part-time one during the school year.  Asking your child to step up to the plate now, sends a strong message that you will be expecting them to have increasing responsibilities as they get older.

Set house rules: Strike a balance between over-parenting and expecting your child to be respectful to you and your home.  Curfew, visitors, cleanliness, noise limits and alcohol/drug usage expectations should be clearly defined in advance.  Consequences for non-compliance should also be equally clear.

What are your house rules?  Do you agree charging your college student room or board is the way to build a responsible young adult?  Are there other steps you can take to get your child ready to leave the nest?  We’d love to hear your point of view.

Last week we shared Mark Katz’s inspiring talk about resiliency from CHADD’s regional conference in Anaheim.  This week we’d like to highlight comments presented by our founder, Neil Peterson, at the same event. College success was the focus of Neil’s presentation.  He covered four key points:

1. 18 year old is really not 18
2. There is an option of not going to college right away
3. The process that we’ve set up in our colleges is still daunting and students need help navigating that process.
4. Get a coach.

An 18 year old with ADHD is really much younger developmentally

Experts remind us that an 18 year old with ADHD is really more like 15 or 16 year old developmentally.  What this means is even though our kids are entering college as adults at 18, they really aren’t ready to learn self-advocacy skills their peers are expected to.  Neil encouraged parents and educators to remember that ADHD youth are often not mature enough to handle the independence that comes when they lose the scaffolding of their parents and home.

A gap year can help students catch up with their peers developmentally.

Neil could see his daughter wasn’t ready for the “free flowing” college dorm situation so help keep her out of school for a year.  A structured gap year that provides experiences and opportunities for your

Getting accommodations is difficult

While we’ve made a lot of progress in serving disabled students in college it’s a daunting process to qualify for services and then inform each of your college professors that you need accommodations.  Neil recommends that parents need to teach their children how to self-advocate for these services if they haven’t done so already.

An ADHD coach can help you keep on track

Neil Peterson is a very successful entrepreneur and former CEO.  His favorite analogy about why a coach makes sense is “If a coach is good enough for a CEO, its good enough for a struggling 18 year old.”  He should know, he uses a coach himself to stay on track.  For Neil’s daughter, Kelsey, an ADHD coach is invaluable in helping her break down the steps of getting her assignments done, setting and following through with commitments to herself, and planning, prioritizing and staying on task.

Do you agree with Neil and other ADHD experts that an 18 year old with ADHD isn’t really 18 developmentally?  Let us know!

Last month Edge Foundation attended CHADD’s regional conference in Anaheim.  The keynote speaker, Mark Katz presented an inspiring talk about resiliency we felt you needed to hear.  You probably already know that resiliency means having the ability to roll with the punches.  But what you might not know is that the more resilient you are the more likely you are to be successful.  Katz knows what he’s talking about when he says resiliency is an important quality of success.  Katz wrote the book on resiliency:  On Playing a Poor Hand Well: Insights from the Lives of Those Who Have Overcome Childhood Risks and Adversities.

Do you see your intelligence as fixed?  Our society puts a lot of value in IQs.  Just about everyone has their IQ number written down on a report in a file cabinet somewhere.  But what if we told you that’s all it is, a number?  There is a growing body of research that indicates your attitude is a more important indicator of success than your IQ.  In fact, students who see their as fixed are more likely to give up when they encounter challenges.  But students who believe that hard work pay off, are more likely to achieve their goals.

In a July 6, 2008 New York Times article detailing her research on the power of attitude on your future success,  Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck says, “People who believe in the power of talent tend not to fulfill their potential because they’re so concerned with looking smart and not making mistakes.  But people who believe that talent can be developed are the ones who really push, stretch, confront their own mistakes and learn from them.”

An ADHD coach is your own personal cheering session

If you have ADHD you’ve probably had people tell you that you won’t be able to achieve your full potential. or you aren’t trying hard enough.  Or maybe they’ve offered to help.  If you just did it their way, you’d be successful.

What if we told you figuring out what to do isn’t the problem.  Figuring out how to master yourself is?  The problem is the ADHD brain works differently than everyone else’s.  This is where an ADHD coach can help.  ADHD coaches know that the same approach doesn’t work for everyone.  As the old saying goes, if the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t blame the foot!  ADHD coaches work with people just like you, every day, and help them find solutions that work for them – not for their parents or friends.  They’ll help you work with your urge to procrastinate, be accountable, study smarter not harder, assess your time, prioritize, and stick to your plan!

But most importantly, an ADHD coach will give you your own cheering section.  They’ll tell you “you can do it!” and “don’t give up” even in your darkest hour.  And having people in your life encourage you is the foundation to building your confidence and your own “can do” attitude.

If you’re discouraged or need a boost in your attitude, sign up today for a coach.  Don’t go it alone.  Let a coach help you turn your attitude around and get back on track to achieving your dreams!

What do you think?

We’d love to hear from you.  Do you believe in the power of positive thinking?  Does your attitude have more to do with your success than you IQ?  And what do you do to keep going even when you’ve made mistakes?

Guest blog by Edge coach, Beth Prosser

You know that water is essential to life. But did you know that even mild dehydration impairs your ability to focus? Estimates are that 75% of us are chronically dehydrated, so it’s likely that this applies to you.
Don’t wait until you’re thirsty to get a drink. By that time, you’re already mildly dehydrated. Here are some other warning signs:

• Headache
• Fatigue
• Dry mouth, throat, and/or lips
• Dark urine
• Heat intolerance
• Lightheadedness or dizziness
• If, when you pinch the skin on the back of your hand, it drops back slowly

Don’t let dehydration affect your ability focus

Here are 5 easy ways to keep dehydration from affecting your focus:

1. Make getting a drink part of your break routine. Keep a bottle of water in your backpack so it’s convenient wherever you are.
2. Bring a water bottle with you every time you get in the car. Finish it by the time you get to your destination.
3. Set a daily goal, and use a checklist to track the amount of water you consume. You may be surprised at how little you’re actually drinking.
4. Watch your caffeine intake, since caffeine actually dehydrates your body.
5. Keep lemon or orange slices in the refrigerator and use them to add flavor to your water.

I’m not suggesting that water can cure ADHD. But staying well hydrated gives you one more way to fight it.
I had a dreaded “brain shutdown” in my martial arts class the other night. I also had a headache, less energy than usual, got lightheaded after a few strenuous drills and failed the skin pinch test. Looking back on the day I realized that I had consumed very little water. Was the brain shutdown a coincidence? I don’t think so. I guarantee I’ll be well hydrated for the next class.
Have you ever found that your attention lags when you are dehydrated? We’d love to hear from you

You’ve probably already noticed that we’ve been publishing a lot of articles lately about getting ready for school.  By the end of next week nearly every school in the country will be back in session.  For college students who have just left home for the first time it can be a stressful and exciting time.  Now is the time to put good habits into place so you don’t come up short at the end of the term!

In an interview with About.com’s ADHD blogger, Keath Low, Edge Foundation’s Executive Director, Sarah Wright, offers seven strategies to help any college student keep on track to achieving their goals.

1.       Start the day on time.

2.       Work with the urge to procrastinate

3.       Study smarter, not harder

4.       Schedule your study time – treat it like it’s a paid job

5.       Plan your time (assess & prioritize) to keep track

6.       Stick to your plan

7.       Find an ADHD coach

For more details and ideas about how to do each of these strategies and more, check out our “For Students” Category.  And don’t forget to subscribe to the Edge Foundation blog to get weekly insights and the latest news about successfully living with ADHD.